Serbian / Na srpskom

I was definitely called to come, and I surrendered not even knowing that. It all started approximately two months earlier. I left for the journey I didn't plan. Before that I heard here and there, people mentioning Sai Baba, but it didn't seem to apply to me. One day, two months before the trip I was searching the Internet and I came across Sai Baba's web page. I looked through it briefly and thought, "A nice fairy tale." That was a period of time when I was going through a lot of cleansing and clearing. I had experiences of psychic attacks, entering the dark side, to be able to differentiate the truth from illusion.

On 7 September 2001 there was a Reiki National Conference in Sydney, and, "just by chance" Gail Manning from Perth was staying at my place. She told me about her plan to go to India, to Sai Baba's Ashram. I didn't even realise that it was "the same guy" I was reading about on the internet. (Don't laugh, I am just being honest.) I liked the idea of going to India, to an ashram, but, of course, there were a hundred and one reasons why I couldn't afford to go this time. May be some other time. On 15 September 2001 I received the first sign, the first miracle: I was teaching a group of students Reiki I. It was Friday night. I felt the presence of light beings, but I didn't share that with my students because I didn't know if they were ready. The next morning, in the middle of the room, there were footprints, white, printed in the timber floor. No footprints to that spot, no footprints from that spot. As if somebody landed and flew away.

November the 1st was one of those days when questions like "What makes sense and what doesn't?", "What is the purpose?", start wandering in the head. Before taking the role of a victim, I said to myself: "Anya, you need a retreat."

I felt like talking to somebody of my kind, just to say, "Hello, how are you?", nothing more. So, "by chance", I rang Gail.: "Hello, how are you? How was it in India?" (I thought she was there in October). She said: "I am going tomorrow, first thing in the morning!" I heard myself saying: "I must go too. Can I go with you?" Gail said that she will ask Nigel, the organiser, but she didn't sound as if she believed I could make it and I couldn't blame her. She said that just for a visa I need 5 to 6 days. Later that night she told me that she couldn't find Nigel, but she would send me the e-mails they were exchanging. The same evening I asked a friend who has an agency if there was a theoretical possibility that I could get a ticket to India tomorrow for tomorrow? "Who knows", she answered, "I'll check as soon as I get to the office tomorrow!" Two hours later she rang to ask what city I am going to. "I don't know yet," I said. She laughed and I couldn't blame her.

At 7o'clock the next morning I found Gail's e-mails and some long letters. I was trying to find in them where on earth I was going to. I couldn't ask her anything, for she was already in a plane to India. Finally I found that the place I would be flying to is Bangalore, and from there the group is going in jeeps to Puttaparthi. I couldn't quite understand why they are going through Munich (from Perth), but, any way, I didn't have time to think about that. (Later on I found out that the group was coming from America, Mexico, Russia and Australia!? Some of them met in Munich.) I rang my friend to let her know what city I would be going to and after a short while she informed me that she has got one last ticket for me! In the mean time I rang the Indian Consulate with an explanation that I wanted to go to India today, and if they could, please, give me a visa. They asked me why am I going, and I answered that I am going to "an ashram" in Puttaparthi. I got the answer that, if I come with a ticket, I might get visa. They work with visas up to 12 o'clock. By the time I collected all the information it was already 11 o'clock. I packed some things and at quarter to 12 I arrived at the Consulate that is situated in the City. Guess what, there was a parking spot waiting for me just in front of the Consulate. People from Sydney will agree that this is a miracle. The ticket was not ready yet, but, guess what, the Consulate is in the next parallel street from my friend's travel agency! So I asked her if somebody could, please, bring the ticket to the Consulate as soon as it was ready. No problem!

There was a long queue. The lady smiled nicely and sent me to another room to ask for the visa consul. There, they were smiling too, and the consul was smiling, everybody was smiling. I was given the visa. When I got to the airport I left a message on Gail's mobile: "I am arriving in Bangalore around midnight. I will look for you in Sai Renaissance Hotel. Please find a way to let me know if I am on the right path." (I didn't know that Gail had left her mobile in Perth and neither did I know that she was not staying in that hotel!) When I was getting a boarding card, the lady smiled at me and said: "For you, a place by the window!" (I usually ask for a place by the window, but this time I would have been happy if they hung me on the tail of the plane.) In the plane that was full, not only did I have a place by the window, but also two more seats were empty, just for me. So, I made myself comfortable with cushions and blankets. The blankets were really nice, and thin like Kashmir shawls, with grey and violet stripes. I was thinking that it would really be nice to have one for my Reiki table. Ten minutes later a steward, short guy with a funny hair, wide smile and smiling eyes, came to me with a blanket in his hands (the 4th one, there were already three on my seats): "For you, bless you!" I stared stupidly: "How could he read my mind? How does he mean "for me"? Oh, no, no, no. I probably didn't understand him well. It can not be. It would be stealing." So I didn't take it. Two hours later here he comes again, with the same smile on his face: "One more for you! Bless you." So I have a nice blanket for my meditation and for my Reiki table. Later, in the Ashram, I recognised Sai's expression in the steward's face.

The whole trip was nice and comfortable. After midnight local time I was at Bangalore airport. No message from Gail, but I felt safe with my plan. Everything went so smoothly. I felt so coddled, so this has to be OK too. At this moment I heard a scream: "Anya! You made it!" I turned around. It was Gail, waiting for another friend ("by chance").

I had enough time to read those long letters in the plane. There was a message that Nigel had from Sai: to bring a group of 25, "no more, no less"! And I am coming as the 26th! The 13th piglet! "Well, OK, I do not have to be a part of the group, I could be somewhere around," I thought. But, next morning, when we met the others, from America, Russia and Mexico, there were 24 of them, thinking "what went wrong", and here I come, the 25th!

The journey from Bangalore to Puthaparthi was very exciting. We were travelling in a caravan of taxis. The luggage on the top of the car was higher than the car, the road was narrow and bumpy, very busy, with tracks, busses, cars, pedestrians, cows, goats, sheep and a few monkeys moving around. Our driver was driving very fast, overtaking from left and right, and yet, we felt secure, laughed and enjoyed it very much. (It was not only me being crazy.)

The time in Puthaparthi was a wonderful experience. It is difficult to explain what fun it could be to wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning and sit in a queue to enter the temple, especially because the fact that you got there earlier didn't mean that you would enter earlier and get a better place. I wouldn't have a lot of understanding myself if I hadn't experienced it.

The energy in the temple is beautiful, being with Sai Baba is a blessing. I lost a track of time, not being aware whether I was there two days, two weeks or two months. I almost didn't eat or drink anything, and I felt fine. On Sai Baba's sign there are symbols of different religions. I saw people from all different sides of the world, Muslims, Buddhists, Christians, Jews.... I remembered Nigel's letter : "You will feel you are in a sea of universal spiritual expression - when you see people from every country in the world who were raised in every religious faith on the planet - it is inspiring and you will meet and share with wonderful souls who share a common desire for universal spiritual truth and love to spread across the world."

Once Sai asked a man not far from me: "You are closely connected to Jesus, you believe in Jesus?" The men seemed embarrassed. Sai moved his lifted hand around and created a golden chain with a cross. He put the chain around the man's neck telling him that he was right

Some people from my group were going through different cleansings, physical, mental, emotional, and probably, spiritual. I was just wandering around feeling nurtured and blessed. (May be, my cleansing is to come? Or, I have already done my portion for now?)

In the temple, some people around me were getting excited, overwhelmed. I just felt at home. When I had eye contact with Swami I felt healed and blessed. I didn't have explosions of emotions. Only once. I was sitting not thinking of anything (sometimes I manage that), when I got the message from Sai: "The footprints are mine." The tears started running from my eyes. Then I began remembering how everything started and evolved. How I was brought here. All that I have written in the beginning of this letter became clear at that moment. I needed to share this with somebody and whispered to Gail (she was the only one who knew about the footprints): "The footprints are his!" Gail's eyes got in tears too. Later, she told me that the same day, "just by chance", she came across the story about footprints in a book.

The other two messages came in my dreams. One night I saw a picture of Sai Baba with little lights around it (like those used on Christmas trees), partly covered with red-purple flowers. The next day a taxi driver told us about an old lady who has a photo of Sai that manifests ash. He took the three of us to see it. I planned to ask many questions, but when we got there, I was dumb. It was exactly the same picture from my dream, just covered partly with ash instead of flowers. The place was a sanctum and I just didn't need to ask anything.

In another dream Sai Baba came to me and said: "I am not God, you are God. OK, you need a God for a while, but you are God." The next evening two singers that have been with Sai Baba for already 33 years, came to us, sang and shared with us stories and events they had with Sai. Among others, I heard the sentence from my dream: "I am not God, you are God. OK, you need a God for a while, but you are God."

December 15, after a Reiki class,
the picture of butterfly appears
infront of the footprints.

One morning, on Darshan, thoughts were running through my head, so I decided, instead of staying for the Bhajan session, to go and wander around the village. In the village, among people, I felt at home. Gail asked me later wasn't I afraid to go on my own. No, I wasn't. I felt great. I was talking to those people, discovering their brilliance, their genius simplicity and their spirituality. That day, I was "within" in the street, not in the temple. I was very grateful for this experience.

We were planning to go to the planetarium one day, but Criss and I had forgotten to queue for the tickets. I got one from John, but I offered it to Criss because she was really interested in astrology.

She didn't want to except it, but we agreed to walk there and see if, may be, she could get in without ticket. There, we met Carlos who had an extra ticket for Kyle. As Kyle did not show, he gave the ticket to Criss, but Criss decided to wait a little longer for Kyle. So I went in with other people. When I saw Kyle entering the hall, I ran out wanting to ask Criss to come in instead of me. There were still a few people waiting at the gate, trying to get in, but Criss was not there. I stood in front of an Indian man whom I knew and, while still looking around, I asked him if he had seen a girl with long curly hair from our group. Then I gave up and went in, telling the others that Criss was gone. That evening, in the hotel, Criss told me that she was standing just next to the man I was talking to, two metres away from me, wishing strongly that I didn't see her. She said she was watching my eyes being bright while looking around and getting blurred when passing over her. What a surprise? I could swear that she wasn't there. Now I call her Invisible Criss.

For ten days a boy was trying to sell me a drum. I was thinking of buying it, but then, it was heavy, made of wood, and that might cause problems on the Australian border. So, I didn't buy it. Last night, when he was offering the drum, I told him that I have spent all my money.. He took the drum from his shoulder and said: "Here, it is a present for you." I was deeply touched. The comparison of me "not having money" to what a hard job he has to do to make a drum for a little money really hit me. (Everything is relative, my Albert!) I gave him a swatch from my hand as a present.

Money is not something I worry a lot about. I try to respect my limits and there were times in my life when I had "a lot" (relatively) and "a little" (relatively) and I was OK. But Swami, for some reason, played games with me and money too. First, I was sure that I brought with me only $250 in cash. I changed $200.

Later, when I wanted to change another $50, there was again $250 in my wallet?! I said: "OK, may be I had some extra money in another compartment, it happens that I don't know how much money I have in my wallet." Another time it was on our last day in Puttaparthi. In the afternoon I realised that I was short of cash, I was thinking of going to a bank to get money from my Visa card, but I wanted so much to go once again to the Wishing Tree where Sai used to meditate, so I decided to manage with what I had. Before going to the dinner organised for our group on the last night, I counted, I had exactly 700 rupees in the little bag that I used to carry around my neck when going to the Ashram. There are no compartments, only one small bag. I counted it in front of my friend Elena. I gave 250 rupees for the dinner, 100 to a waiter to buy rice for a family and I thought I had 350 left for the taxi. I was paying the hotel that night and I planned to give a tip by increasing the figure on the bill that I pay by Visa card, but Jenny, the gentleman on the reception, said that it was not possible. I couldn't get cash from Visa card in that hotel either. I tried to borrow the money for the tip, but my friends were short of rupees too. The next morning, when I was paying for the taxi, I needed to give 400 and I thought, gosh, I have only 350 rupees. But, when I opened my little bag and took out the 400, there was still some money in it. I counted, and there was 760 rupees left after I paid 400!?

The funny thing happened when we were leaving Puthaparti. We were passing the Super Specialities Hospital and Sharon wanted to take a photo. She started calling: "Sai, Sai, please make the driver slow down!" The tyre burst and the driver stopped just in front of the hospital. I told her: "Don't you dare ask Sai such favours in the plane!" (She was travelling in the same plane to Australia).

In Balgalore we visited Deviana, the lady who predicted that we were coming, the group of 25 with a special mission. She has a constant connection with Sai Baba. As we didn't realise what the mission was, we asked her. The answer was that this is to be evolved. Each of us had a question for Sai. Mine was: "I received many signs in a short period of time, but, I don't understand what the message is?" Deviana closed her eyes and her palms, then opened them and said: "The message is: in the future, you are going to be me. You are a healer, and you are going to be a great healer, you are going to heal many, many people."

Those words sounded very different (at least to me) from all the answers Deviana gave that day. I just couldn't open my mouth to ask if I am going to be "Her" or "Him"? I don't feel being "great", Quite often, when "a new door opens" I feel like "Beverly Hill's Ninja", clumsy, surprised and sometimes confused. Am I going to fulfill my role? Beth asked: "When you become him, will you allow us to touch you and to hug you?" I said, laughing: "Even if I don't, I'll pretend, so that you touch me and hug me. I like being hugged."

I bought a healing stick, a big crystal around 3.5 cm thick, together with the handle about 30 cm long. It doesn't look harmless at all! I carried it, with 7 smaller crystals, in my personal luggage on the plane. In Bangalore, when the bag went through the scanner, the official asked me: "You have some crystals?" "Yes, those are healing crystals." I answered. He simply said: "OK.," and smiled. It was unbelievable in this time of fear of hijacking, after what happened in America. In Kuala Lumpur I had to change planes. They were opening each bag after scanning, mine too. I prayed that they don't find my crystals, and they didn't.

Everybody was writing letters to Sai, long, long letters of wishes. The only thinkg I could think of was: "I pray to be loved, healed and happy, so that I can help others to be happy, healed and loved. I pray for all I love to be loved, healed and happy." I know that my prayer will be answered.

The story is not ended yet: On 15 December 2001, after a Reiki class, the picture of butterfly appeared infront of the footprints. On 15 January 2002 a dragonfly came on my palm and stayed there for an hour. What is next?